La Salle Scandal
aka Sikreto ng Makati

Law students, not just the ones that come from the Arrneow are some of the most horny bastards on the planet. I should know, I'm one of them.

The other day, some of my classmates brought their laptops with them to class. they were finishing group papers that were due in a few hours. This was possible only because some professors, in the spirit of christmas (right) decided to call their classes off for the rest of the week, leaving large gaps between classes. If they tried to pull this stunt off in class, you can bet your pwet that their PC's would never again see the light of day.

You could tell which groups were done because their members would either be:
a. Mocking the other groups;
b. Preparing for another class; or
c. Watching *something else* on their laptop

It's funny how people behave when they know something interesting is going down. It's not unlike grade school, where the guy who brought the cool toy to school is king of the hill, at least for the moment. That's how I got to know which toys were cool and which toys weren't: the only ones worth having were the ones that made your buddies' jaws drop.

As college graduates, I thought it would take more than just your ordinary porno to make these guys' heads turn, much less stare at a computer for ten minutes or so. So it came as a shock to me when ten guys and girls started staring at a laptop screen. Horny bastard that I am, I thought that they were staring at some groundbreaking porno. I was right.

"Tangina, wag kang mag-cum sa loob, ha. Unnnggghh... SHIT!" the laptop speaker broadcast to the room.

Holy fuck! This WAS good! I wager there are only ten thousand people in the world who sound like that when fucking, because the accent coming from the laptop's speaker was really distinct.

More squeals came from the computer, and the one making it wasn't squealing because she was in pain. I just had to take a look.

The PC showed a video of a guy with an average dick being ridden by a petite woman with perky nips. She looked like she could be the girl next door. She was fair-skinned, chinita, and had a pretty decent haircut.

Ray, who owns the laptop, has a collection of these amateur videos that feature his next door neighbor, but that's neither here nor there.

"Oh my God!" exclaimed Kate, "that's ****, Joseph and I just saw her last month." Apparently, Kate and **** had been batchmates in that school along Taft Avenue. "I'm sure she didn't want this to leak out," she said as she turned away from the sight of her acquaintance getting the ride of her life (at least that's what it sounded like).

"Last I heard, she was still with her boyfriend. Magandang tao talaga yan," Joseph, Kate's best friend and fellow law student, chimed. "If you make something like this, you really have to expect that it's going to pop up over the Internet sooner or later."

"Wow. In that case, she's one hot mama. I heard that in part two of that tape, she does girl-to-girl. Yuck," said Jeh, a pretty and conservative girl from the South. "In fact, I heard that that tape is actually 56 minutes long. From the looks of that bar, I'd say that that's only the first part."

Could this be true? Could this be the ephiphany I'd been waiting for for so long? Was my wife's hen party a sign of things to come? If so, this was a great day to be alive! YES! Viva las lésbicas!

"Naiinis ako," said Trina, one of the girls who came to look. "I mean, if she was just going to do something that stupid, she should have at least fucked a better looking guy!"

That night, I downloaded the video on KaZaa. It took one night to download the whole motherfucker using Tri-Isys and auto-redial upon disconnect. Since I couldn't sleep until I finish a download, especially a big one, I snuck around after my wife went to sleep and spent the rest of the night watching over the download meter.

I woke up the next morning to find my wife on my chair, watching over her KaZaa downloads, Sorority_Slut_Sisters_Take_Big_Dildo.AVI and Big_Dildo_Adventure.AVI, which turned out to be two parts of an even bigger video about girls who like big dils.

"You watched the video, ano?"
"Yeah. Sure breaks the monotony of law school." She had this sheepish grin and two hands in her shorts.

Obviously, she liked what she saw.

i want a fuck buddy, and i want one now

people who know me think i'm a nice guy. i am, most of the time. i don't care who you are or where you come from or what drug you snorted last night. that's all cool with me.

some of my friends have reputations for not being the hardest girl to get into bed. most of my friends aren't that hard to get into bed, if you know what you're doing. hell, even if you don't know what you're doing it's not that hard to get them into bed.

just don't befriend them.

of course i didn't know this at the time. how else would you end up with a posse of some of the most eligible, willing women in college and no action to show for it? they wouldn't do me because somehow it would be like having sex with your father. you just don't screw people you care for.

IT'S JUST BLOODY SEX, DAMMIT.

so anyway, here i am, that kind of guy who doesn't play around. should i say didn't? i don't know. i just can't seem to play around even if i know it's a no harm no foul situation. i've seen too many fuck relationships gone wrong. i've been the clean up guy for far too long.

and yet! when we guys get together and talk our guy things and how he got laid with whom, chances are, i know that girl. chances are, she's told me she's horny and willing to screw anything. chances are, she's told me that, sorry, everyone BUT you.

I KNOW IT CAN DRIVE A MAN INSANE.

you know, they're not that bad looking. i can understand it if their face somehow reminds you of zorayda sanchez, or if she makes jessica zafra look really pretty (aside: one of my friends is that way, she became the fuck buddy of this texan millionaire... all the panglalait she received turned into good karma... wow). but they don't. i wonder how they'll look like when i'm wasted. they might look even better.

the list is endless: i know your girlfriend, i don't have sex with married men, and even if i did, i wouldn't have sex with you. you're a great guy. it's all bullshit. i don't buy it. even the great guy part.

if i was so great, WHY DON'T I GET LAID?

do you know the meantime girl? here's a message from the meantime guy: fuck you. fuck you and all the emotional baggage you heap on me every time you think you need someone emotionally to lean on. fuck your high horse that allows you to screw all of my guy friends BUT me.

i just had a fight with one of my best friends in the whole world. it was a bitter argument, but we ended up patching things up. yet things will never be the same. there isn't any make-up sex to heal a wounded friendship, you just go on sulk in your own corner and look for the lubrication that you bought the last time you walked into a sex toy store.

now, if you're finished ranting about that best friend you fell for (again) who left you because he found someone hotter, please excuse me. perhaps mr. fist and ms. blow up doll will show me more appreciation.